Ok, it's that time of year again. I'm thinking about Resolutions for the coming New Year. Here's my short list (rough draft).
1. Write every day (At minimum 5 lines in my new 5 year journal)
2. Finish my novel
3. Go to bed early
4. Get up early
5. Move my body
6. Eat well
7. Help others (still working on specifically how)
8. Work on organization
I think that's enough for today. And it's time for bed (might as well start now!)
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Saturday, December 18, 2004
Quizzes
I've not been on top of my blog this month, and when I started getting back into reading my friend's blogs, I came across Girlzoot's Crappy Gift post. Now I'm throughly enjoying myself by wading through other quizzes and finding stuff like you know you're from... when... hehe... Now, I only work in Boulder, but this next list made me laugh so I'm sharing it here:
|
You Know You're From Boulder When... |
|
Your diet consists largely Boca burgers, Silk Soymilk, sushi, and Celestial Seasonings tea. You understand the utility of burning a couch in the street. Your kids wear 'Baby Gap' clothes. You really believe that there is a war between Boulder High and Fairview. You shop at Alfalfa's, and think that it's quilty eating. You wear shorts in the winter. Riding your bike in the middle of the street is okay. You had a hour long coversation about the Ramseys, and your sure you know who "did it." Your hybrid car is stocked with Ani Difranco and Indigo Girls CD's. A member of your family either works or plays for C.U. Sandals are worn year around, regardless of temperature. You have either been, or sent your child to an alternative school, (ie. New Vista), because the other schools didn't challenge you/them enough. Your waiter has a PhD in philosophy, and a MA in Women's Studies You rather starve than eat something that isn't organic You understand that "8 glasses of water a day" is what is required before 10:00 a.m. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from the mountains. Your friends don't eat meat, but they guzzle microbrew and designer coffee like it's water. In any given line you can see a white person with dreadlocks who is barefoot and the next person is wearing Prada, Chanel sunglasses, a Rolex and is dripping in diamonds. You're invited to a Halloween party only to find out "party" means serving peanut-pumpkin soup and sitting around reading Edger Allen Poe. A "bike ride" is at least a 4-6 hour event, a "shower" is optional. The only women wearing makeup are over 50 years old. You know all 4 seasons: "winter," "two day spring,""drought season," and "one day fall". The 3 most popular bumper stickers are: "Free Tibet," "I love my dog," and any array of Democratic political candidates. The more holes a young person has in his clothes the more zeros are in his trust fund account balance. April showers bring May blizzards. You tell someone you're training for a 10K and they tell you they're training for a marathon and the Ironman. The true feud which divides people is between those who "board" and the "two-plankers." You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka. You've gone skiing in July. You've gone sunbathing in January. "Rio," "Pearl," and "Walnut" have nothing to do with Rio, pearls or walnuts. You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Boulder. |
Crappy Gift, anyone?
| You Are a Fruitcake! |
 |
Monday, December 06, 2004
HOLIDAY EATING TIPS
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like in single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like in single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!
3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?
6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.
7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.
8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards!!!!!!!!!!!!
10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
As seen in my email
THINGS TO DO BEFORE the Jan 20th Bush inauguration, while you still can:
1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
7. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
8. Hoard gasoline.
9. Buy all the porn you can carry.
10. Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
11. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now.
12. Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
13. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
14. Stay out late before the curfews start.
15. Get within 6 feet of a stripper in a state where it's still allowed.
16. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident".
17. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
18. Use the phrase - "you can't do that - this is America".
19. If you're white - marry a black person, if you're black - marry a white person.
20. If you're gay, learn to butch it up so people will think you are straight.
21. Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
22. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
23. Start your school day without a prayer.
24. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
25. Stockpile hard liquor.
26. Learn French.
27. Two words - Doggy Style.
28. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
29. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
30. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
31. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
32. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
33. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill".
34. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.
1. Get that abortion you've always wanted.
2. Drink a nice clean glass of water.
3. Cash your social security check.
4. See a doctor of your own choosing.
5. Spend quality time with your draft age child/grandchild.
6. Visit Syria, or any foreign country for that matter.
7. Get that gas mask you've been putting off buying.
8. Hoard gasoline.
9. Buy all the porn you can carry.
10. Borrow books from library before they're banned - Constitutional law books, Catcher in the Rye, Harry Potter, Tropic of Cancer, etc.
11. If you have an idea for an art piece involving a crucifix - do it now.
12. Come out - then go back in - HURRY!
13. Jam in all the Alzheimer's stem cell research you can.
14. Stay out late before the curfews start.
15. Get within 6 feet of a stripper in a state where it's still allowed.
16. Go see Bruce Springsteen before he has his "accident".
17. Go see Mount Rushmore before the Reagan addition.
18. Use the phrase - "you can't do that - this is America".
19. If you're white - marry a black person, if you're black - marry a white person.
20. If you're gay, learn to butch it up so people will think you are straight.
21. Take a walk in Yosemite, without being hit by a snowmobile or a base-jumper.
22. Enroll your kid in an accelerated art or music class.
23. Start your school day without a prayer.
24. Pass on the secrets of evolution to future generations.
25. Stockpile hard liquor.
26. Learn French.
27. Two words - Doggy Style.
28. Attend a commitment ceremony with your gay friends.
29. Take a factory tour anywhere in the US.
30. Try to take photographs of animals on the endangered species list.
31. Visit Florida before the polar ice caps melt.
32. Visit Nevada before it becomes radioactive.
33. Visit Alaska before "The Big Spill".
34. Visit Massachusetts while it is still a State.
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