Lyrics in my head

You've always been
Time and again
The one to take my hand
And show to me it's okay to be
Just the way I am
With no apology

Garth Brooks - A Friend to Me

Liquid Luminosity

Driving home tonight I was under a spell. I could barely keep my eyes on the road. An early summer thunderstorm and the setting sun painted the sky with a marvel of nature and physics, a stunning rainbow lit the stormy sky my entire drive home. At first I only saw a part of the rainbow, an arching swath of color and light spilling on the ground from the dark clouds. The colors glowed so clearly, like liquid light pouring from the sky. I could see the vivid bands of color spilling onto the ground and buildings behind it.

The other edge of the rainbow looked like a pastel drawing on dark grey paper, smeared smoothly with a celestial finger to blend the colors and light into a band of soft beauty. After a few moments the light came together and I could see the semi-circle from end to end. I thought of my great-uncle who told me a story of how he had stood on the side of one mountain and saw a three-quarter rainbow arching into the sky and dipping into the valley below him. I always wondered if there were a perfect spot to see a circular rainbow, from end to not end banded in bright liquid luminosity.

And above the main rainbow, the second rainbow shimmered at the edge of my sight, like an object in the darkness that you can't see straight on, but have to watch through your side vision. I couldn't be sure, but it seemed to me instead of being roygbiv it was vibgyor, a dim and fragile reflection of the main rainbow. Everytime I tried to look straight at it, the second one became blurry and smeary until I blinked and looked away.

The entire three-quarters of an hour I spent driving home became a study of the rainbow set as it seemed so close then moved back and back to finally become a faded rememberance of the shining glory it was, then to finally fade as the light left the sky and the rain cleared.

Happy Summer

Do you always watch for the longest day of the year and then miss it? I always watch for the longest day in the year and then miss it.

- Daisy Buchanan The Great Gatsby

Good Day

I spent most of yesterday either with my mom or at her house. She had a salon appointment at noon, so I toodled myself and my shiny little laptop down to her house to hang out with the dog and to get some work done. More hanging out with Charlie happened than actual work (I still need to write out my bills, and finish the writing I had started).

All around, except for some extreme heat and some heated words, we all had a lovely day. Charlie was perky and alert, she sat in the grass in the sun for about 10 minutes, watching the world go by (not much exciting) and having the wind blow her clean white fur. Mom gave her a bath that morning so she was all shiny clean and smelling like shampoo. I brought her back up to the porch in the shade and got her some water with ice cubes in it (she likes that) and she drank some. She sat on the towel next to me while I surfed the web (I love wireless, oh, so much) and started work on my project. After a while I grabbed a slice of turkey and Charlie ate it all up, fairly daintily, but with vigor. And I brought her a pillow to sit on which she did until Mom came home.

Out in the hot hot sun (I should have parked in the garage while mom was out) we unloaded the stuff in my trunk and figured out how to put down my back seat. I'm not so great in the sun, and it was really hot (around 4pm) so I decided we were going to 7-11 and I got myself a Slurpee and an iTunes code. Much better with liquidy ice to slurp on. The trip revolved around getting some lovely bookcases that were on sale at OfficeMax. The nice manager guy helped us get the 4 bookcases and one major DVD stand (all assembly required) into the trunk, and complemented us on being prepared and not making him try to figure it out.

We ran the bookcases back to mom's garage, stacked them up nicely for her (she's got a project of vast proportions moving and organizing stuff in her computer room where the bookcases are going to live) and I went and got another Slurpee. Mmm icy cold. Thinking of getting one right now... Anyway, once we got back we relaxed a bit then decided to fill our bellies. We ran out after to Costco to look at a shiny white electronic device which shall remain nameless but they were closed.

We got back, Jeff next door was watering the plants, Charlie was enjoying the evening sun, and Mom and I started making a little stepping stone from a package I got. We mixed up the cement, poured it (well dumped it) into the little mold, and pressed Charlie's front paws into the middle. And washed everyone off. I'll post a picture when I see it next, it was dark last night when we were done (and half eaten alive by mosquitoes) so no piccy. While it was drying, and to finish off our day, we watched Hotel Rwanda, which was very good.

So all in all, good day. Oh and Mom's visit to the salon was lovely, she was all nail painted and hair coiffed and lovely herself.

Update

Charlie is home with Mom. She took her home on Monday, after a long weekend in the hospital. Monday night she ate some turkey and drank lots of water, and while visiting a neighbor stood up with the help of a sling (her front right leg was hurt from the IV and her back end hasn't worked well for a while) and while standing tried to chase a cat (slowly, but with vigor and much tail wagging).

So the vet said give her time, see if she adjusts to being home. She's been standing on her own as the wound on her leg heals, and last night she even had a bm (I sounded like the proud mother of a toddler getting toilet trained with all the encouragement). She even is walking around a little - after we'd been on the porch for a while, she walked over to the screen door and patiently waited for me to open it for her. Once inside she found a nice spot and laid down, pretty as you please under her own power.

I can see her spirit in her eyes, she's still very much Charlie although her body has slowed down considerably. She is not asking for much, and generally accepting what is given, when she used to be quite demanding. Her time is coming, but it isn't right now. No matter when, I am blessed to love and be loved by her gentle little soul.

More on Charlie

So Charlie went into the hospital on Wednesday, after being very lethargic on Tuesday night when I visited. Her bloodwork was not good, and she didn't seem to be getting any better. Friday night I came down after work to visit her at the vet's, and nothing looked promising. I left Mom's house after we watched The Aviator (pretty good flick, if LONG) and promised I'd come down in the morning to see how she was.

This morning we hoped for good news, but weren't really expecting it. We took Charlie out (with her IV unhooked and the tubing attached to her little leg) and she did a little duty (which was encouraging, as it is her kidneys they're worried about) and we sat in the sun and she slept in our arms. All the dogs getting walked that morning were interested in her, but the techs kept them at a distance. One really cute set of Boston Terriers (one black, one brindle) were quite interested and barked at her, or at us. After a bit it got pretty hot in the sun so we retired back inside.

We didn't have an appointment, but the staff was great and let us wander around with Charlie. We got her some water, which she was excited to drink, but she barely licked the food. Dr. James came in with her thick chart and showed us the results from this mornings' bloodwork. Three of the high numbers had come back down toward the normal range, one dropped 60 points from yesterday to within 12 of normal (I'm not a medical person, so I don't know what exactly that meant, but that it was good.) Dr. James was encouraged, and said if she'd eat, he'd send her home. He also said that at this stage, the kidney failure was controllable, but probably not repairable. But it was up to her, and he put B vitamins and some medicine to calm her stomach and encourage her appetite. Her stomach was probably upset from the way her body was acting.

So now we wait overnight again, and he'll call in the morning with an update. The office is closed Sundays so we can't visit, but he lives close and checks on his patients that are staying over the weekend in the morning and evening. He's a very good man, and has known Charlie since he bought the practice 16 years ago.

I know in my heart that it's not a great solution, and that she is getting older, as we all are. She's not in any pain, and I know she would like to be home again, to the only home she has ever known. Our mood is lighter, this afternoon. Our little fighter is still fighting, and as long as she's willing, we're happy to have her with us.

Charlie Lass

Birthday Pup,
originally uploaded by Arcadiajoy.

I didn't post this picture when her birthday happened back in February. Looking back, I find that a bit odd (especially with all the pictures we took of her that day).

At any rate, my baby girl isn't doing so well today and I wanted to get some positive energy going for her so I thought I'd share her here.

She’s been a part of my family for over 17 years, and except for one small issue with Mom’s favorite leather boots, she has been a wonderful, sweet, and loving dog. To my mom, she’s my sister, and we both love her very much. Even tho she lives with Mom, she’s still my dog, and I have pictures of her at work and at home.

I’m having a hard time with the eminent possibility of her passing. One of her most endearing qualities is in her doggy love; she loves us unconditionally. No matter what we say or do, we are her people, her family. And if we’re really good, she’ll give us puppy kisses.

I know this has been kinda disjointed; it’s hard to consider losing a member of the family.

Please keep her in your thoughts this week, if you would.