Runaway bride

The whole thing on the runaway bride from GA has got me thinking. She said, in a prepared statement, that she wasn't running from the wedding, but from herself and issues and fears that had become out of control for her.

Perhaps it's a personal perspective thing, but a 600 guest wedding with a 26 person wedding party is a big, huge thing. And it could be a scary thing, whether or not you are deeply in love with your fiancé and are committed to spending the rest of your life with them. But, it also can be a way of life, all milestones and events are celebrated with vast numbers of friends and family, and this was normal and expected. So possibly it wasn't scary. But the thought of letting down a single person or even a handful of people (fiancé and parents, friends, family) in whatever way could be a crippling fear.

The fiancé said that the first thing he did when she got home was place her engagement ring back on her finger. Now, I can see that perhaps she took off her ring to go jogging (she disappeared while jogging, remember) but the legacy of the engagement ring has always seemed to be to wear it until the wedding, and switch the band and the ring after and never never take it off again. I know that some people do, but I would rather wear the ring and know where it was at all times than take it off and possibly lose it or have it stolen. Regardless, what if the wedding was part or all of her reason for fleeing? Wouldn't putting the ring back on her hand signify a ball and chain, a terrible weight on her? When she first returned she had not, to my knowledge, spoken to a professional therapist about her problems, and I see the possibility that this would only add to her stress.

Of course the ring's return could have been comforting, but then why didn't she take it in the first place? If she was running from other things, but her commitment and dedication to her husband-to-be was so strong, wouldn't she have taken the ring as a reminder, even if she wore it on another hand or on a chain? But she took off so fast, you say? Bullshit, she purchased the ticket days in advance of leaving. She had plenty of time to get the ring if it meant that much to her.

And on the pressing charges / suing the runaway bride, I'm of two minds. First of all, she didn't know that she was being looked for on a national level. Have you ever ridden a bus from GA to Las Vegas? It takes nearly 48 hours. How much news do you think she saw on the way? Also, people disappear all the time, and some of them are looking for a new life, they disappear themselves. Perhaps in her state of stress and fear, she didn't think it would be a big deal. She was wrong; it became a huge deal, but she shouldn't have to pay for it. She was not the one who set off the national media, her family and fiancé did that. Not every missing person gets national attention, but then again, not every bride has 14 bridesmaids either. Does this mean the wealthy are more important and get national coverage? Gee, I never thought of it that way. Perhaps she should pay for it, after all, she has the money... Or was the sheriff's office duped into looking for someone who didn't want to be found?

On the criminal charges, I think she should be charged for false reporting of a crime. I'm pretty sure that's a felony. She was trying to make herself look a victim instead of a runaway when she said that she had been kidnapped and sexually assaulted. Again, she probably wasn't thinking straight (as the whole situation leads us to believe) but from my perspective, she still knew right from wrong when she lied to the authorities in NM. And when people lie about crimes like kidnapping and sexual assault, it makes it more difficult for the true victims to be believed and heard.

The most important thing to come out of this situation is that the bride-to-be gets some help. From a brief interview I saw on the Today Show this week, her fiancé stated that she was seeking help and had been talking to someone. In no way do I trivialize her fear or whatever issues led her to flee the arms of her family and soon to be husband, and I sincerely hope that she can get the help she needs to resolve the issues that took over her life in such a dramatic and farflung fashion.

I admit I don't watch the news much, and I haven't taken to reading the newspaper or news-feeds online. Most of my news is from the radio and a brief buzz on the TV in the morning. I imagine while this situation, which took up quite a bit of my news time these past weeks, several more people were killed in Iraq; I know that the Number 3 man in Al Qaida was captured, and that somewhere children are starving. I'm not terribly informed about these things, but this story and the Teri Schaivo story are the two most recent and all-consuming by the media. Is it because they are domestic stories? Human interest? Both were terribly personal stories, things I did not need to be privy to as a complete stranger far from either of their homes or lives. But I know, and even I know a lot. I'm sure that says something, but I just can't put my finger on what...