Bubbles on the wind

It is now the end of March, and Spring has begun, for the most part, with temperatures in the 60’s and beautiful blue skies and lots and lots of wind. I was driving home the other day, thinking of a quick note I had sent a friend of mine, and I started having a bit of a little girl daydream, thinking about what my wedding would be like someday (if I were getting married, having found the person and made the commitment and all those lovely things that haven’t quite happened yet).

I wandered in and out of this musing as I drove down to Aurora through an incredibly dull and drab industrial complex over long and somewhat bumpy highways and overpasses. The best parts of this drive are that one, I’m not driving into the sun, and two, when it’s over I get to have dinner with my mom. So my daydream was a pleasant diversion, giving my usually overactive imagination something to grab and shake a bit.

I had visions of a poufy (but not meringue) white dress with lace and tiny buttons, a thinner, healthier me, a handsome groom (somewhere in the distance and a bit out of focus), and my friends and family. In the past I had thought about who would give me away and the friend who graciously accepted the honor stood beside me, looking quite dapper in his tux. As I looked around to see the rest of the wedding party, my daydream burst into tiny bubbles and drifted away into the bright blue windswept sky. The image left in my mind was both comforting and sad.

I had always imagined I would have my two best friends stand up for me when the day finally arrived. I could see them in whatever puffy sleeved, sateen dress in some shade of blue the bridal party were forced to wear, one brunette with warm dark eyes filled with love and laughter, and one blonde with bright blue eyes filled with joy and mischief. For the first time, it struck me; one of my best friends won’t be there at my wedding.

I know she is gone, and I have accepted it with as much grace as I can. On the trip down to her funeral we had discussed needing more road trips for glad tidings, weddings, successes, vacations. It was not to be in those hot August days where you could hear the heat reflecting off the pavement drowning out all other sound. She has passed beyond us and nothing I say or do change that simple and final fact.

After the daydream disintegrated, I had this vision of her there, at my wedding, watching over it and smiling. The ones you love never really leave you; they live on in your memory. I only wish that I had more than my memories of her to share with me those milestones I have yet to reach.

The smell of the ocean

I've taken a step in the direction of better health. I've joined my local Curves, an exercise club for women. The little perky teenage girl at the desk showed me around the machines, and since I'm a pretty quick study, I think I have the workout down. I have an assigned locker in my office lockerroom. I bring in my sweats and tennis shoes, and I've gone to work out three times since Friday. The plan is to go every MWF after work. Maybe if I get in gear in the morning, I'll go before work... but probably not for a while (so not a morning person).

The first night after I did the training turn around, I sat in my car with the window down and my bottle of water, gathering myself for the drive home. Looking up, I saw the sign for the strip mall. It said, in big blue neon letters, Pacific Ocean Marketplace. I'm on the phone with a friend and I tell her cannot believe the audacity of whatever corporate conglomeration that sadly mis-named this area. I live on the Front Range in Colorado. This makes the Pacific Ocean over the Rocky Mountains and across three and a half states and what, a thousand miles away? I mean can you really see the ocean, let alone smell it so far away?

Bittersweet chocolate missing the funny

Last week I had a surreal little email exchange with Girlzoot about an octegenarian named Daisy noticing that Spring was two weeks away. I got the reference to the line in The Great Gatsby (one of my all time favorite books) where Daisy Buchannan asks "Do you always wait for the longest day of the year and then miss it?" Literary bizareness, very good. Then I talked to her again today.

G: Her name was the weird thing.
J: Glory? or something?
G: No, Daisy, like in the book.
J: Ohmigod, you're kidding! I didn't get that!

And today I got a Happy Pi Day email from another friend. I saw it and smiled that she emailed me and let it go. Seems I missed something here too...

G: Did you get that email, Happy Pi Day?
J: Yah, I didn't open it because I was at work. Was it funny?
G: Um, yah, today is 3/14.
J: It is...
G: Today is 3/14...
J: OH! Hehe, I get it!
G: Ok...

I guess I'm just missing the funny in my life lately. Need to look more on the funny side. One of our later exchanges was funny, but not in the traditional sense:

J: I am on my way to writer's group.
G: Well, what are you working on?
J: Not much right now. I mostly go for the social occasion, lately.
G: I need a little less social occasions. I miss my house; I miss my bed.
J: Yah, I hear you.
G: I want to sleep in my own bed.
J: You poor baby.
G: Shut the fuck up.

Here's to enjoying the lighter side, or at least the funnier one.

Another good day...

Today, I brought my copy of Heart of Gold with me, because I was going to show one of my writerly fellows at writing group tonight. When I got into the office, one of my coworkers asked how my novel was. Pleased she asked, I told her I had it in the car. She wanted to see it, and later in the afternoon, I went down to get it and show her. She liked the phrase "supporting her words with numbers" on the back in the little about the author blurb. Warm fuzzies all around.

Then, a friend from another floor came in to say hi, and I showed her the book, and she was suitably impressed. Beyond the book, I was glad I ran into her, since I rarely see her anymore. We used to work in the same department and now we're on different floors. And she's been very busy flying hither and yon for the company. So all around good to see her :)

Then I showed the book to the security guard, who's a very nice man who always says hello. He was amazed. He asked when it would be published and how did I possibly write a novel in 30 days. More warm fuzzies.

I went up to the executive floor and showed another friend, the EA for the president , my book, and she was just floored. We chatted for a moment and then I went back downstairs to show my former supervisor (who gave me a day off in November to help finish the book). She had already left for the day *snap* so I'll just have to bring it in tomorrow.

Not like I mind, after all the positive reactions... I should write a book every November... Oh wait, I do!

And now, back to the writing or editing or something resembling such.