The month of November

I'm terrifically guilty of looking back on a week, a month, a season, or a year and saying "where did the time go? why just yesterday it was (Summer / June / the beginning of school /my birthday)!" I suppose that makes it seem like I go thru my life in some sort of daze.

Well, however much this might be true, I know for a fact that I will know where each precious hour and every ticking minute went toward for every bloody day of November 2004. I am both enjoying and dreading the passing of days this month. Being part of NaNoWriMo has completely changed the way I view my time. During most months, I try to make time to pick up the house, to run my errands, to spend time with friends, but this month, my overwhelming goal is to complete the 50,000 word requirement of my novel. And every moment, even this one, when I'm not writing or sleeping, or actually making a living, I seem to begrudge to every living thing and even some inanimate ones (like laundry, which I have to take out now).

But also bred in my bones is the magical happy fun gene of procrastination as well as the huge, bulbous black gene of guilt. I sit at my computer and post to my blog, or read someone else's novel in progress, or search for that perfect character name, when Bob or Joe would do just as well. Or that I have tickets to something with someone for a holiday gift, or a friend who I am obligated to for various reasons wanting to do lunch and a movie in the middle of my only day to write in solid blocks all week...*sigh* But I LIKE talking to my friends, I ENJOY surfing the net for no particular reason.

Ok, no more bitching, I'm going to do this because I WANT to do this, I have a deep desire, one that is stronger than guilt and louder than procrastination. I want to be a novelist, I am a writer, now I want to prove it to the world!!!!

Tired and hungry and going crosseyed looking at the computer. Must finish laundry and order pizza, perhaps come back in an hour...yes, that is good...

Must fly!!

Joy